hoganddice:

takethethirdoption:

I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.

"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"

This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.

kuorma-auto:

steven universe is basically just a perfect cartoon that’s it no arguments 

weedjoke420:

no offense but what the fuck am i doing

felixdawkins:

'are you flirting with me or are you like this to everyone' a classic novel by me

image

overlypolitebisexual:

cat people: dogs are cool too
dog people: cats don’t feel love did you know a cat once MURDERED my MOTHER